


watch you sleep

by irrationalqueer



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:01:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28631430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irrationalqueer/pseuds/irrationalqueer
Summary: Phil’s asleep, but he still pulls Dan closer, like it’s pure instinct.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 30
Kudos: 122





	watch you sleep

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ahappyphil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahappyphil/gifts).



> happy birthday keelin!!! i hope this year is incredible for you. you are such an incredible friend (and that’s putting it lightly), one of the first people to make me feel welcome in this community, and i appreciate you endlessly. you deserve only good things and i can’t wait for the universe to put them in your way <3

It’s four A.M and Dan’s tragically awake. He’s not sure what woke him, but as he opens his eyes he feels that specific wide-awake adrenaline that means he knows he’s fucked, he’s going to be exhausted all day. He sighs, rolling over to get face Phil. Phil’s asleep, but he still pulls Dan closer, like it’s pure instinct. It’s sweet, the way they’ve become so used to being in each other’s space that it feels unnatural to be apart, even in sleep. It’s not always ideal, but there’s something so warm and content in Dan’s chest every time Phil chooses to get a little bit closer despite any possible discomfort. 

It’s not going to help Dan get back to sleep, but it makes him smile all the same. He wraps his arm around Phil’s waist and presses his fingers gently into his spine. Phil feels so warm and soft like this, pliant in sleep, but the weight and heft of him is comforting. They’ve both gotten broader and stronger with age, and that’s hot in and of itself, but Dan likes this too; the reminder of a Phil from years ago who was maybe a little smaller and slighter. They fit together perfectly still.

He remembers lying awake, years ago in Phil’s small bed in his neon bedroom, staring with awe at the way Phil could just - fall asleep next to him. Without it being a big deal, without worrying about what would happen the next morning. It’s not that Phil’s ever been particularly great at talking about how he feels, but he was so open, back then, in a way that felt brand new. Dan can look back and see that they were both just obviously stupid and young in love, but back then it felt like a revelation. Dan thinks about waking up next to him, taking in wide blue eyes and a bird’s nest of black hair and just thinking - oh. This is what mornings look like now. 

He’s stopped romanticizing mornings next to Phil by this point; there’s usually limbs shoved into soft places and blanket hogging and arguments over who has to get up for coffee and who gets the bathroom first. But it still feels like something precious, something he's lucky he gets to keep. Sometimes when he wakes up before Phil he’s reminded of that, even when it’s the middle of the night and he’s exhausted and objectively speaking it’s Phil’s fault. 

Dan’s not a great sleeper at the best of times, but it’s worse when they’re away from home. Even here, in this place by the sea that feels so close to his heart, full of people he loves, it’s hard to turn his brain off long enough to fall asleep. They’d spent the day helping Kath bake Christmas cookies, sipping on mulled wine and trying their best poker faces whenever Kath noticed a cookie was missing. Martyn’s new trick is to blame every offense on the baby. They’ve only been here a day but Phil has already caught on, shrugging everytime Kath complains about a sugary treat going missing; he can’t help it if the baby wants a treat, she’s only young. 

She tolerates their nonsense exceptionally well, all things considered; Dan’s always loved that. He wonders what it would’ve been like to grow up in the Lester household - Kath’s so quick, picks up on Martyn and Phil’s jokes quicker than one would think; she has the gift of ease, of being able to just roll with whatever pure weirdness comes out of Phil’s mouth. It makes Dan feel warm all the same - for all of his quirks and strangeness, Phil is so, so easy to love. He likes being surrounded by people who know that. 

There’s a faint line on Phil’s forehead now, like he’s confused or thinking too hard, and Dan wonders what he’s dreaming about. He presses his lips there gently and it smooths out, Phil’s face relaxing once again. He’s so pale he almost glows in the moonlight and Dan thinks, not for the first time, that he'd make a wonderful vampire. 

Phil smiles sleepily, eyes still closed. He puckers his lips a little bit and Dan rolls his eyes, leaning in to kiss him sweetly. It’s brief, but warm, and Phil hums slow and content into his mouth. When Dan pulls back, Phil’s eyes are slowly blinking open, squinting in that way he does that Dan’s so fond of. 

“Dark,” he says, and Dan snorts. 

“It’s early,” he says, biting his lip to hold back a laugh at how genuinely distressed Phil is, mouth turning down and eyebrows furrowing. They’d gone to bed late; not as late as they used to, to be sure, but certainly later than they have been lately. Phil had bullied them all into a long-winded game of Catan, and they've really only been in bed for a few hours. “Go back to sleep,” he says, smoothing his thumb gently across Phil’s cheekbone.

“Hmm,” Phil says, already halfway there. Dan just watches it happen; the way his face goes slightly softer, something less tight around his mouth and eyes. It still feels like something precious to witness, even ten plus years after the first time. 

Dan rolls back over to face the window, smiling a little when Phil immediately fits himself against his back, forehead pressed to his shoulder blade and warm breath fanning across his back. The even breaths are comforting, a reminder of home, and Dan closes his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> title from watch you sleep by girl in red :)
> 
> on tumblr @ irrationalqueer


End file.
